Happy Birthday to Me!

Today was the big day.

I am now 40!
It's been a great day spent with family and I've only had fun.
Who could ask for more, right?

I didn't want to make a big deal out of turning 40 because, really, is 40 any different than 39?
But I have to say that it has gotten me thinking more.
(Which could be a good thing or a bad thing. We'll see!)

I have to say that I woke up a little on the depressed side.
I didn't sleep well last night.
The sleepless night was spent thinking of the last 40 years.

A big part of me is very happy with my life.
I've been blessed beyond belief.
There's many happy memories that I wouldn't change for anything.
(And I do mean anything!)
Even a lot of my trials and challenges I wouldn't change, for the most part.

But a small part of me feels like a disappointment.
I think I'm a little disappointed with myself.
It's almost like I feel I've wasted part of my life and it's not a great feeling.
I've let myself go--definitely a long way away from the size 8 I was when I was married.
I also think I haven't used my talents like I am meant to.
But, there's always the next 40 years, right?

I just want to focus more on taking care of myself, spiritually, mentally and physically, so that I can look back after my next 40 years and only be able to think about what an awesome life I've lived and not have feelings of disappointment.

I'm just very grateful for the love and support of my family and friends.

And I'm grateful for the experiences I've had over the years
(both good and bad) for I know they have shaped who I am.

I'm looking forward to the coming years and I'm not going to fear getting older.
It's all in your attitude right?

I hope this makes some sense!

****
On another note,
look what my hubby got me ....
Yes, I'm a spoiled girl!
(I like how it says, "Forever Young" on the screen. How appropriate.)